Divorce…….between 40% and 50% of all first marriages end, and 60% to 65% of all second marriages end. While common in our culture, divorce is still a devastating experience for the family living through it. Your financial security may be threatened, time with your children diminished, the comforts of home lost, and friendships ruined. You will be asked to make some of the most important decisions of your life, at a time when you feel most fearful, vulnerable and uncertain.

The traditional approach to divorce involves each spouse hiring an attorney, and then battling over money and parenting rights in the court system, in front of a judge. The litigation model is expensive, emotionally draining, time consuming, humiliating, and extremely damaging to the relationship between the divorcing spouses. Couples embroiled in litigation lose control over decisions that will impact them and their children, and often find themselves caught in the system for years. Sometimes, unfortunately, litigation is the only way a couple can reach resolution and move on with their lives.

BUT THERE IS A BETTER WAY!

Collaborative Law (or Collaborative Divorce), provides an alternative way to pursue divorce. The couple that engages in a collaborative divorce will experience a process without litigation, that instead uses respectful dialogue and negotiation to resolve differences and make decisions.

Here’s how it works:

The individuals involved in the divorce each agree to hire a “collaborative attorney” who is trained in the collaborative divorce model. The attorneys and clients sign a contract agreeing to negotiate the terms of the divorce without any reliance on litigation. Divorce “coaches” are often engaged, to assist the couple in using productive communication, and in helping each individual cope with the emotions associated with the divorce. If there are minor children involved, a “child specialist” may become part of the collaborative team, to assist the parents in making parenting decisions that are best for their children. Finally, a “financial neutral” is often consulted by the team, to assist in understanding the complex financial and tax implications of any financial decisions that are made by the couple.

Couples who choose the Collaborative Divorce model, often feel more satisfied with the agreements that are reached, feel more emotionally prepared for the changes associated with the divorce, and maintain more respect for one another as co-parents post-divorce. Collaborative professionals deeply value the potential of this process to protect the well-being of all family members, and the integrity of the co-parenting relationship. To learn more about this divorce alternative, refer to the website for The Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois: www.collablawil.org